Anti-Empire

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Oh, chick, I did not realize, and I'm sorry I haven't been here to talk with you more.

The places our minds go when our bodies (or those of people we love) get sick are truly amazing -- so many thoughts, so much to learn, but also sometimes such fear.

My step-daughter began talking to me quietly and carefully, mostly in emails, about how she coped with the mental challenges of being sick for a time -- she did that when she sensed, I think, that I was submerging and needed something better than advice. She said uncanny things about herself and what she had learned that were just so much help to me -- tiny observations, but so much like what you have written above.

She has learned to be happy saying "I did my best," for instance, which is probably what makes it possible for people actually to do that. I grasped that from her, although I wouldn't claim to have quite internalized it yet. It's hard to get there.

There are some things you can't do now (and for sure not yesterday), so ... don't. That's a hard one too, but it's a relief to start saying that, not just to yourself but to others.

Keep talking. I'll keep reading. *hugs*

Thanks, Skdadl. I have been quite absent from blogging these days and its nice to reconnect with you.

I often say, "I did my best." And, it is a good perspective.

But, once, my sister even called me on that...She said to me, "But, why do people even have to do their best? Wouldn't it be OK to do just fair sometimes?"

I think about that now, when even my sick-level-best seems too much.

:-)

Although I should know better, from personal experience and all that, when someone special sort of drops off the radar it's not because they found something better than Nyquil to give them a buzz.

Okay, that was lame. But you're a funny, insightful, wise, clever writer who makes astute observations and helps the rest of us make the connections that are important. I am really happy that you're back.

Thanks so, so much, deBeauxOs...You and Skdadl are making me think I need a BreadnRoses fix!

I was just curious about what your thesis is on? Thanks.

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