As I've struggled with health problems the past couple of years, I've come to realize that they do come with a proverbial silver lining.
These are some of the joys of illness:
Checking out of the cult of the busy...
Being able to lie in bed, doped on Tylenol 3, watching eye-opening films like The War on Democracy...
Being able to take extra Tylenol 3.
Feeling I can take the time to help my nephews with their homework, when I would normally feel I should devote most time to my own work...Quietly smiling inside when the 14-year-old comes up with socialist-spirited answers to his social studies homework. (Yes, Mrs. So-and-So, people with jobs that don't require literacy and arithmetic should make comparable salaries to those jobs that do require those particular skills!)
Remembering exponents; math makes me feel focused.
Being able to improve at Shadow of the Colossus. And, being able to tell you that a grief-stricken Adam Sandler plays this game in the film Reign Over Me, since I now watch almost all released DVDs...Go on: submit your review request.
Creating facebook groups: Go join People Before Profits.
Regaining perspective as I feel how fragile my life is.
Surrendering to one's body in a world where "first world", middle-class, white chicks like me can pretend that we don't shit like everyone else.
Being able to get back to the basic building blocks of life. Breathing, eating, sleeping, pissing, shitting, discovering, thinking, caring, sharing, connecting...
Next week, I begin the first of regular immunoglobin transfusions. I hope and pray that this treatment will restore me to good physical health. I also hope that if, one day, I am capable of participating in the work-hard-play-hard culture again, I will remember to take the time to see and experience the world around me in all its ugliness, as well as all its beauty.
Breathe.
Link:
"First of Days" by Ray Caesar
Ah, the joys of Tylenol 3 induced constipation...
Heal well.
Posted by: leonard | November 30, 2007 at 10:01 AM
I hear re: being in touch with your body and escaping the cult of the busy. I've occasionally had fantasies of smashing my other knee up so I could do that again for a few months. Which is silly, but still. Enjoy it and good luck getting healthy! :-)
Posted by: Kuri | November 30, 2007 at 02:31 PM
Oh, M. Lapin, the T3 is well balanced with antibiotics and ginger root tea...I'm a veteran.
Kuri, keep away from blunt objects...I remember a really good blog post from sometime ago that you wrote about your experiences with doctors...I know I had bookmarked it, but I'm not sure I ever got around to commenting. (I found it several months after it was posted.)
Anyway, thanks to you both for the well wishes :)
Posted by: Polly Jones | December 01, 2007 at 06:16 PM
Hope you feel better - better enough to enjoy the downtime, but not quite better enough to have to go back to 100% work capacity.
Posted by: Red Jenny | December 02, 2007 at 12:30 PM
Thanks, RJ. It just sucks because when I do return to 60+ capacity, I have to face the super cult of the busy. And, my life ends up looking like work, sick, work, sick, work,...err, you get the point. Anyway, hopefully this new treatment will work and I'll regain some sort of social life again.
I hope everything is going well for you!
Posted by: Polly Jones | December 02, 2007 at 06:23 PM
gawd woman, sorry to be late on this. don't think i realized the surgery was happening here and now. hope you're ok. if you are, then send samples of your best meds my way. talk soon. xo
Posted by: pamused | December 02, 2007 at 08:25 PM
My pill are your pills, P. I'll stuff them in the Xmas bear's belly and send them Fed-ex.
Posted by: Polly Jones | December 03, 2007 at 08:45 AM
Keep on breathing!
Posted by: Berlynn | December 05, 2007 at 12:43 AM