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hi polly jones, just checking out your digs.

Just for the record, this type of thing is just as demeaning and degrading to men as it is to women. We don't seem to have come very far after 50 years, have we.

I know what you're saying....but it seems to me that advising women to realize that (1) men sometimes want to be alone (just as women do), (2) so-called soothing comments may not help (which goes both ways, I suspect), and (3) treating your significant other nicely when they're down is a good thing, doesn't seem to me like anything to get bothered about. Nor does it seem out-of-line to offer hints on spicing up your sex life. It doesn't say "submit and do what he wants" or "ignore your own needs" or anything like that. Frankly, I think both genders are subject to copious amounts of inane drivel on how to please their partners. Why do you think that fat-ass tool Dr. Phil is such a sensation?

I'm not bothered. I just post these things as food for thought. However, Cosmo has been giving the same sex tips for about ten years. (Yawn.) If you want to know how feminists write about sex, see "Bitch" magazine. That's spicy!

I also have to agree with Paul that it somewhat demeaning to men to assume they are a homogenous group who need to be catered to. I would like to think there are men out there with whom women can be candid about emotions and sex.

Survivor of divorce after 20-year marriage, first half OK, second half piss poor. My Ex could never decide what she actually wanted in life and be happy when she possessed it. She had everything: wealth, happy-healthy-smart kids, and a devoted husband who definitely was involved w/ chores and raising kids. What she wanted most in life was the ability to be angry, cold, and withdrawn at will. No discussion, no counseling, end of story, period. I left her and nine months later the kids moved in w/ me. She lost being the mother she wanted to be, the financial security she took for granted, and a man who accepted or at least put up w/ her difficulties. Funny thing, she still blames me for leaving!! I conclude she wanted the ideal husband but had no interest in being a wife. Oh how I pined for a little affection, a gentle touch, and a non-judgental ear!! Oh, how I wanted a good woman to be my jewel, the most valuable thing I owned, someone I would move mountains to please, someone I would defend with my life! A trifle dramatic, but I am an old fashioned romantic! If you see her, ask if she's had any luck finding a replacement.

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