Anti-Empire

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So who pays for the national child care program and the benefits when the government is also cutting taxes?

Well, I guess that would involve decisions about the budget and allocation of resources. Also, corporations would bear the burden with more progressive labour laws.

I think women have already been voting on this issue - by putting off marriage and children until much later in life, or by not going the family route at all. It's obvious to anyone with a brain that unless you are as rich as Angelina Jolie and can afford to buy all that necessary care - it is not possible to maintain a career and a family without sacrificing one for the other, or ending up in the hospital from exhaustion. And yes - it's women who have made this choice because, for the most part, men will rarely lift a finger to aid in all that care and nurturing. Oh - they like to think that they do. Playing ball with the kids for an hour on Sunday and taking the garbage out once a week is not participation, boys. Of all the straight couples I know or have ever known - not one woman has received what she considers adequate help from the man in her life. That's why those guys you overheard said that care wasn’t a basic need. It isn't to them; but just hear them howl if mommy or the girl friend doesn’t fetch and carry every time they feel they need something.

I don’t believe this is nature, though. I think men eschew participating in the care and running of their families because that’s what they saw growing up, and that’s what they still see surrounding them every day. Men who want to be care givers are thought of as less masculine in some way. They are encouraged by their peers to dis the wife and family – passing them up for time away with the ‘boys’. Its juvenile, I know - but its what they see and hear every day of their lives – at work, on TV, in print – women are the care givers – and they are expected to do that while maintaining the inside and the outside of their home like an edition of Home & Garden Magazine and contributing at least half the household income. I cannot tell you how much this pisses me off – but there seems to be no way either out or around – women are expected to be Superman, while the male member of the household usually sits back and watches. Marriage benefits men more than women – and some women are coming to that conclusion all by themselves – and staying that way!

I really appreciate your comments, FLS.

The sad thing is that no man out there is wondering whether he should choose family or career...but, these are things I think about a lot.

And, more and more, I doubt that I will marry because I just can't live with unfair household arrangements.

But, I have hope for cultural transformation. And, maybe, some men will want to shed these narrow views of masculinity and take larger roles at home.

I don't know though...I am having trouble finding a guy who can even cook a single meal or do his own laundry. Seriously, why would I want that?

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